I'm jealous of your bromance
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
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