We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
