She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
