Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
