Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
My vagina just clenched in fear
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
