the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
