It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
