There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
