No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Randomize
