You're completely useless in the revolution.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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