i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
