Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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