she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
