you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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