it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
