He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
