Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
