I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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