Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Randomize
