Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
