I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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