New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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