you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize