You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
