I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
