someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
