Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
