I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
