you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
