i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize