why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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