I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I see more hoeing in ur future
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