Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
