Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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