He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
