My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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