and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Reggie can tackle my bush.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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