Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Banned from zoo.
Again?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Randomize
