My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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