as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
