I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
