shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
