So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
