HIV tests are more positive than that guy
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
