Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
