the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
