if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize