did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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