(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
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