haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
