I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
