So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
