if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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