I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
you will always have a special place in my vag
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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