it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
