I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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