Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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