you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize